Married people who have affairs DON’T regret it, study finds

From Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo to Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, several married celebrity couples have hit the headlines in recent years following cheating scandals. 

While many of these stars issue grovelling apologies after they’re caught out, a new study suggests that they may not regret their infidelities at all. 

Researchers from Johns Hopkins University surveyed people using Ashley Madison – a website for extramarital affairs – about their views on cheating. 

The results showed that people using the site express little remorse, and believe cheating doesn’t hurt their marriage.  

‘In popular media, television shows and movies and books, people who have affairs have this intense moral guilt and we don’t see that in this sample of participants,’ said Dr Dylan Selterman, who led the study.

From Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo to Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, several married celebrity couples have hit the headlines in recent years following cheating scandals

In the study, the team set out to understand the psychology of people who actively seek out and engage in extramarital affairs. 

They turned to Ashey Madison, where they surveyed 2,000 users, both before and after they had affairs. 

The participants were asked about the state of their marriage, why they wanted to have an affair, and their general wellbeing. 

Results showed that the participants generally reported high levels of love for their spouses. 

However, they reported low levels of sexual satisfaction, and this was cited as the top motivator for having an affair. 

Other motivators included a desire for independence, and a yearning for sexual variety. 

Somewhat surprisingly, fundamental problems with the relationship, such as lack of love or anger towards a spouse, were the least-cited reasons for having an affair. 

Meanwhile, having a strong marriage did not make cheaters any more likely to regret their affairs.   

‘Ratings for satisfaction with affairs was high – sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction,’ Dr Selterman explained. 

‘And feelings of regret were low. These findings paint a more complicated picture of infidelity compared to what we thought we knew.’

Overall, the results suggest that infidelity is not always the result of deeper relationship issues, according to Dr Selterman.

In the study, the team set out to understand the psychology of people who actively seek out and engage in extramarital affairs (stock image)

‘People have a diversity of motivations to cheat,’ he said. 

‘Sometimes they’ll cheat even if their relationships are pretty good. 

‘We don’t see solid evidence here that people’s affairs are associated with lower relationship quality or lower life satisfaction.’

The team now hopes to study infidelity in the wider population to see how it compares to cheaters using Ashley Madison. 

‘Maintaining monogamy or sexual exclusivity especially across people’s lifespans is really, really hard and I think people take monogamy for granted when they’re committed to someone in a marriage,’ Dr Selterman concluded. 

‘People just assume that their partners are going to be totally satisfied having sex with one person for the next 50 years of their lives but a lot of people fail at it. 

‘It doesn’t mean everyone’s relationship is doomed, it means that cheating might be a common part of people’s relationships.’